48 Hours Out

First phone call from a supportive team parent came in yesterday morning. A few more understanding communications came in throughout the day, but I still drove to our optional practice at 7PM in St Paul wondering if I'd be there alone with a half field to myself. Still unsure about how the girls and the parents are feeling about yesterday. Would they boycott the optional training tonight in protest of my decision yesterday? After seeing how devastated their girls were, I wouldn't blame them.

Got a text from B-Money and Cal that they were coming. Well, that's at least two. Drove up to the field at McMurray to see Mickey getting out of her car and Babes already at the field. That's 4.

Girls began to filter in, each new arrival making me smile.

When all was said and done we had 13 of the 16 girls at the optional session. Gia had to babysit, Vivi was helping her mom with a fundraiser, and Meg had an undetermined conflict.

You have no idea how good it made me feel to see the girls out at training.

Some awkward moments in greeting with each girl, they obviously knew they had been part of something big, but within a few minutes things seemed to be on their way slowly back to normal.

I jumped right into the finishing session and the girls warmed up to the activities.

I brought them together in the end and told them that we'd talk tomorrow prior to the game as a group (we were missing 3 girls and Bam Bam, who was there in the beginning, took a B-Money shot off her already hurt wrist and left training early). I apologized to them about the day yesterday, told them I made a mistake, mentioned that there would likely be repercussions and that I was fully at peace to deal with them, at peace because I took responsibility for a decision that I thought was made in the best interest of the club and of the state at the time it was made.

I also apologized to them for the "b" word that slipped out yesterday, and some joked that they were only mad that I swore at them, not about the game. Now that I apologized for it, all was good.

The girls are a resilient bunch.

I left training feeling better than I had at any point since yesterday.

I believe the team is going to be fine.

* * * * *

Bigger than the team is the compromised integrity of the club, of the tournament, and of the game itself. The decision also had a negative impact on MYSA, the 13 Blues, and the 13 White and EP girls who were witness to the PKs.

I emailed out an explanation (not a justification) of my actions and an apology to the MTA Directors to forward on to the MTA coaching staff so they would all hear directly from me about what transpired, that it was my decision rather than a club mandate. [will post email later]

I sent apology emails to Tom M, Kelli D (State Cup Tournament Directors), and Candace D (MYSA Executive Director), as well as similar emails to the U13 Blue and U13 White coaches to forward out to their teams. [will post emails later]

An email also went out to the MTA Ex Board, letting them know that I was fine with whatever discipline action was needed, even if it meant termination from my role with the club. I'm content that I made the decision I did in the best interest of the club and of the state, albeit the wrong decision, and because I'm at peace with that decision I'm at peace with any repercussions that result from it. All I asked them was that they don't remove me from the girls this season and replace me with another coach. This will punish the girls further and make a bad situation worse.

Lastly, I sent an email out to Wayne Harrison, EP DOC and head coach of the U13 EP team that was playing after us and who witnessed the event. It was an explanation and an apology to his team and his team's parents, and I asked him to forward it out. Hope he does. [will post email later]

Wayne and I have some history of not seeing eye to eye on certain youth development issues, but I have the utmost respect for him as a coach and the knowledge he brings to MN soccer. He says it like it is, doesn't pull punches, and will tell me when I've made a fool of myself. He had come up to me after the PKs as I was clearing the bench, shook my hand, and asked me what the "f" I was doing. He said I had the best team of the 4 in the semis and should be going to Regionals. Part of me thinks he wanted to face the younger team in the finals if EP beat our White team, but I can't say for sure. But I knew the decision was wrong before he came up to me.

My heart is far lighter than many people think it should be at this point.

* * * * *

Continuous phone calls and emails from the parent group.  Still supportive, and now actually working to show this support to the MTA board and to the state soccer association.  Extremely flattered and humbled by it all. 

Got a phone call from the local paper.  Someone had approached one of their columnists in outrage with the incident and the writer wanted to break the story in tomorrow paper.  At least the reporter had the decency to call me first looking for my take.  I was more than happy to talk to him.  It would break this story to the non-soccer community and in all likeihood make me look like a complete donkey, but I stand firm that there are life lessons to be gleaned here for others.

We have a league game tonight at 8:30PM.  I'm asking the girls to get there at 7:30PM and plan on a final discussion about Sunday with the entire group present.  I still plan on meeting with the parent group tomorrow as well.