Should be a good morning of soccer. The U12 East group is in the semifinals vs a Grand Rapids Crew team that has be utterly trouncing the competition with resounding 12-1, 11-0, and 4-0 wins. Either they are really good, or their group is really not very good. Regardless, it still takes a lot to score 23 goals in two 11v11 matches, regardless of who you play.
The U12s play at 9AM and the U11s have their final at noon. If the U12s win the semifinal game, they will advance to a 12:30PM final. However, it was not meant to be for the U12s as they fell 3-0 to one of the best U12 teams I’ve seen play. Apparently, the Grand Rapids team is part of the Columbus Crew’s youth development program and has been able to draw in a bunch of really talented players. The Grand Rapids girls will face the Strikers FV team who beat our South team 4-0 in their opening group game on Friday. Based on what I’ve seen of both teams, the final will be at least 6-0 for the Crew.
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NSR Gold Cup Championship
12:00PM Blue v Chicago Fire Juniors
As I arrived at the fields for the game around 11AM, I saw a Team Chicago U10 boys team playing on a nearby field. I had seen this team play earlier in the weekend and was completely amazed at the boys’ skill level. I had taken my USSF B License with Hudson Fortune, the Team Chicago Coaching Director, and know that his top teams at the younger age levels are very technically oriented. This comfortability on the ball allows players to relax under pressure, get their head up, and see the field. This is when the true beauty of the game is seen as passing and combination play develop along with confident, creative individual skill and flare on the ball.
So, as the girls arrived at around 11:15AM, we spent the first 15 minute prior to our game watching the younger boys play. I wanted to point out the composure the boys showed on the ball, the not-go-100mph-stright-forward-to-goal-every-time-you-get-it mentality, and the vision that came with trust in your technical abilities.
I want the girls to watch high level soccer to pick this up and we will plan on doing this throughout the next year. However, there is more of a lasting impact on the girls when they see it done by younger boys right in front of them. It was awesome!
We headed over to our assigned field to warm up, and the girls decided they'd get decked out in sun relfecting warpaint for the championship match.
I spoke with Hannah before the game. She had already played two halves as GK in the three preceding games, and I wanted her in for the final. We don’t have a dedicated GK in this group but do have many who can play the position well. Hannah is the most solid of the group, and to her credit, though she was likely not that happy about it, stepped up without complaint. She asked if she had to play the whole game, and I told her we’d see how things went. I was asking her to do this in the best interest of the team, and I knew a good performance from her would do wonders for her confidence, in and out of goal.
The championship game didn’t start out well for us. The girls were nervous, and I was nervous. I can’t remember being nervous for regional events back in 2004 when my current U14 group was this age (U11). It likely had a lot to do with the fact that back then, we weren’t expected to do well in events. I wanted the girls back then to compete and experience the regional scene, but I never went into a strong regional tournament thinking that we would have a chance to win it. In fact, we didn’t win one until the spring of 2005, a year and a half later.
Now however, there is an expectation that our younger teams get results and I will need to make sure that I try not to get caught up in it. I guess this is a good thing in a way as it shows how far we’ve come in terms of bringing talent together and competing with other clubs from around the Midwest. But, there many negatives with this as well.
First, parental expectations are raised, sometime to the point of the unrealistic. When parents feel that their kids team should get results, they get caught up in the game score and are blinded to what we are all really doing here… watching the young kids play a game. A game. A game is meant to be fun, at least that’s what I was taught growing up. But adult pressure on kids to get results makes it not fun real quickly. I saw it in some of the player’s eyes this weekend already. I want them smiling and excited about the challenge of playing in a championship game, but there were not many smiles on the field as the parent sidelines (parents on both team) got heated.
The poor ref must have been 15 at most, with the sideline ARs not much older. And though he did his best, the game (with the pressure from the parent sidelines) was too much for him to handle I think. The tournament needs to get older, more experienced refs for contests like this, no doubt about it. I think a more assertive ref could have address the parent sidelines early and limited the abuse that came from them (again, from parents on both teams).
The girls on both teams played their hearts out on the field and the competitiveness led to some physical challenges. Some of the more rough looking challenges went without a whistle from the ref, sometimes justified, sometime not. I felt the parent heat rising all game and, at one point in the first half after the ref had made a call against us and I heard the shouts from the other sidelines complaining about the call, had to whistle (and I can whistle REALLY loud) and yelled over for the parents to keep quiet and let the ref call the game.
With the parent sidelines as vocal as they were, I had to strain to have my voice heard the entire game. This strain to project my voice added tension to what I was saying and I think the girls felt it, not helping them relax at all. Not only that, but many, many times I heard conflicting comments to girls from the parent sidelines, and this frustrated me more. The girls were obviously confused and our whole rhythm was off.
I usually sit in my chair and coach from that position, preferring to exude a calm appearance in order to not add pressure to the players. With the goings on on the field and on the parent sidelines, coupled with the fact that the AR was always running in front of me blocking my view, and I was on my feet the whole game. My frustration with the parent sideline translated into frustration with the girls, which translated into not normal outbursts from me that are rarely seen. I saw the girls faces when I was talking to them, I know they sensed my frustration and I know they thought it was because of them. I tried to put a smile on my face and be as encouraging as possible, but I wasn’t in the frame of mind that I wanted/needed to be in.
As for the game itself, we came out in a 3-3-1, but were absolutely killed in the middle of midfield. I kept trying to have our wide mids tuck in when we didn’t have the ball, but in the frenzied atmosphere, the concept was not easily grasped.
The half ended 0-0, but we hadn't looked dangerous in the least.
At halftime, I switched formation to a 3-2-2, asking our two central mids to stay in the middle of the field, giving up the flanks a bit to secure the more dangerous area. I have NEVER played a team in this formation before, but I had to do something to try and address a glaring team weakness. I asked Hannah to stay in goal, and she agreed without comment. True team player there.
The girls played better in the second half, creating much more than we did in the first half, but neither team was able to find a goal.
Towards the end of the game, I finally gave up in trying to battle the chaos surrounding the field. I sat back in my chair and quietly watched the rest of the game, chiding myself for getting caught up in everything and promising to not allow the external forces to affect my demeanor for the rest of the game. I can’t change things right this minute, but I will change things.
Regulation ended 0-0. On to 2 x 5 minute overtime periods.
In an effort to secure a result late in the game, I had altered our subbing pattern in the second half to keep who I saw as some of our strongest players out on the field late in the game.
Up until this point, all players had played about the same. With 14 players on the roster it meant 6 subs on the bench. I would usually rotate all 6 subs in at one time with only our central defender usually playing more than others. All 14 players got great playing time this tournament (as great as it could be with 14), but in the end (the last 10 minutes of the game), I went with the girls I thought would best be able to get a result. Was this the right thing for me to do? I don’t know. I think so, but I don’t know.
The girls on the bench at the end of the game obviously wanted to play, and I could sense the realization in them that I didn’t think they were good enough to be on the field at this time. That hurt to see some of them like this and I will definitely need to address this with them and with the group soon.
So, in my resigned state at the end of the game, I told myself that I would split the OT period and let everyone get on the field.
We scored the first goal of the game 4 minutes into the first OT period. Maddog (RF) took a throw in about 25 yards from the Fire goal on the right side of the field. The thrown sailed over a number of Fire defenders into Emi (LF) just inside the Fire penalty box. The bouncing ball was challenged by the Fire defenders and fell to Sophie (LF) who took a control touch and hammered the ball into the net.
The girls were obviously excited, as were the parents (and coaches). I let the roar of the cheers fade into the background as I turned to the bench to assign the 5 players (one has picked up an injury in a 50/50 challenge with the Fire GK) their positions, resolved to sticking with the original plan of playing everyone in the OT period. Then, the whistle blew on the field indicating the end of the first OT period, and the teams switched sides. I turned to give some additional tactical instruction to the girls, shifting back to the 3-3-1 but reminding the wide mids to play in the center of the field now. As I then gave instruction to the girls on the bench about the formation change before they went in, the second OT period kicked off.
I sent the subs to the sidelines to await a chance to get in the game.
The tournament played with different subbing rules than I was used to. We could only sub on goal kicks and our own throw ins, unlike most other events at this age when you could also sub on opposing team’s throw ins if they subbed as well.
The girls were still at midfield waiting to get on when the Fire sent a long ball forward into our box. The Fire forward chased the ball down and was swarmed by two of our defenders. My shouts of “Patience!” were drowned out by parent shouts of “Go in hard!”, and the Fire girl was taken down in our box for a penalty shot. The Fire equalized the game, though Hannah (GK) got a hand to the shot in a great diving attempt to stop the ball.
I looked at my watch, looked at the girls at midfield, and told them to sit back down on the bench. If we were going to go to PKs, I wanted the players currently on the field to be on the field at the end of the game as most of them were in the group I would consider to be the strongest/most confident PK takers. So much for my resolve about playing everyone in the OT period. A mistake? Winning over development?
With about a minute to go in the second OT period, Sophie (now CM) went in for a challenge, was knocked down, and hit her head on the ground. It was near midfield on the parent side of the field. As I ran out there to tend to her, I heard a number of the parents (some from both teams) again complaining about the call (or lack of a call). I yelled out to the entire sidelines to relax and let the girls play the game, that both teams were playing hard in a tight game. I don’t think that went over very well with anybody as the Fire parents yelled out for me to control my parent group. That set off some retorts from our group but things died down as I was obviously in clear hearing range. I didn’t care, I was sick of the whole thing.
So, on to a penalty kick shoot out to determine the tournament winner.
Hannah was nervous, and I tried to explain to her that the pressure was on the shooters to make their shots, not on the GK to make it. I should have been more conscious of where the other girls were at as that comment brought some frowns to the kick takers in close proximity. Oops.
I asked Hannah to do her best, challenging her to make one big save for us. I also brought all the girls together and let them know that regardless of the end result, I was extremely proud of their efforts this weekend. They all gave their all and battled hard on the field, and the outcome of this shootout wasn’t going to change that fact. I also made a few jokes to try and lighten the mood. Don’t know if that helped much.
The Fire shot first and the girl hit a great PK to the lower left corner to put them up 1-0. Brit stepped up and hammered her shot home to pull us to 1-1.
The second fire girl stepped up and missed the goal wide left. Dots was up next for us but clanked her low, hard shot off the left post.
Hannah made a save on the Fire’s third shooter and I remember thinking that there was the one save we needed. Maddog hammered her shot home to give us the 2-1 lead.
Hannah again made another save on the Fire’s fourth shooter (good for her!) to give us the chance to win it with our fourth shooter.
Anna slotted her shot home to give us the win.
The girls hog piled Anna and Hannah (who was crying tears of happiness), but I walked onto the field with an unsettled feeling. I should have been very happy with this result at an event like this, but the issues surrounding the game, the parental behavior, my reactions to it, and the added pressure on the girls weighed heavily on me.
What the parents have to understand is this. If they want their kids to win, one of the ways they can help ensure favorable game results is to shut up. I can’t say it any more simply than this. When the girls are relaxed and not tense, they have a better touch on the ball. Better touch leads to more confidence with the ball. This confidence toughens skin and helps the kids be unafraid to make mistakes. They are then more apt to try new things in the pressure of the game settings, and this leads to more development.
If a kid is tense, not comfortable on the ball, afraid to make mistakes in fear of parental retribution, they do one thing with the ball. Kick it. If I kick it far up the field, the parents cheer, and I don’t risk losing the ball to a defender. I see this already with some of the girls on this team. Some of them have real skill but don’t do anything resembling control in the games because they are encouraged to play hard at 100mph and get the ball up the field as quickly as possible.
It only takes a few parents to get many others caught up in it. “Quiet” parents hear what is going on and what other parents are demanding. Parents don’t want their kid to be the one who does something that some of the more vocal parents don’t want to see, so right or wrong, the would-be quiet parents start to get on their own kids. It’s a vicious cycle that, in the end, hurts the kids instead of helps them.
Moreover, I know more about the game than any parent on the sidelines. Egotistical or not, this is a fact. If parents agree with this, then they need to agree that in order to help the girls the most, the girls need to hear me on the field, need to hear my instructions and critique of individual technique and decision making. Need to hear my encouragement for trying new things and or good ideas that lack the finishing touch due to technical breakdowns. Need to hear that a high, loopy shot from distance really isn’t a great goal and will not have long term success. The kids need the instruction in the game setting, but I can’t give it to them when I compete with the decibel level from the other side lines.
With all this said, parents need to understand that pressure to perform, the kind of pressure I see on some of these girls, will lead to burnout and loss of passion for the sport, regardless of how talented a player is at this point. True high level play cannot be achieved if a player does not absolutely LOVE what they are doing, and it is impossible to love what you are doing if there is repeated failure. In this case, pressure to get results sets the girls up for failure if they don’t win, and they won’t win every game. Parents need to focus on and praise kids for effort and attitude, not for wins. A U11 game win with a poor attitude or with lack of effort is nothing in the long run.
Parents need to trust that I know best about this. I don’t want to tell people how to parent and some parents might take offense to what I’m saying here, but in the end, they’re in my program and I need to make sure I’m doing what I feel is best for the kids. Like it, or leave it. No one at any age group in this program is indispensable, and I would prefer eliminate a potential cancer to a team at this point before things spiral out of control.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007 at 07:02PM 
