It's ALL About The Smiles
The number one priority of all youth coaches at all playing levels should be to give the young players an enjoyable experience with this sport
I listed this topic first (all others are listed alphabetically) because I feel it is the single most important factor (that the girls smile, laugh, and have fun) that has helped the overall development of the girls on this team.
You can never reach the highest levels in anything unless you have a passion for what you are doing, and you cannot have a passion in something unless you find enjoyment in it. I want these girls to be able to play at the highest competitive level they choose to pursue, and I know that they don't stand a good chance of being around the game in later life when they can realize their potential unless they enjoy their time in the sport now.
Moreover, we are talking about dealing with 10 to 12 year old girls here. Though I treat them like Division I athletes at times, we must remember what we are involved with here. Soccer is a GAME. A game, not life or death. Games are supposed to be fun. No one plays a game to not have fun.
Laughter and smiles are powerful tools as I believe they relax the spirit and open up the mind to learning. Though I demand a level of discipline with this team that many times is more commiserate with older aged teams, there is not one practice or game that goes by when I'm didn't try to make the girls smile and lol.
I joke around with the girls constantly, both in a group and one on one. Each girl has her own unique sense of humor and I work hard to find each individual player's funny bone. I am also constantly aware of each player's mood in everything that we do (be it at training, at the games, during warm-up, during non-soccer team functions, etc) and try to find ways to get pouting girls smiling if I can. Sometimes this smile can be triggered by an inside joke with the pouter, a quip or jibe in front of the group targeting another teammate who I know can take it, or simply by a playful push or tug of the pouter's hair and a smile after the ensuing eye contact. Other times it takes a boost of confidence and verbal confirmation after a good touch or good play to elicit the pouter's smile. Each girl has different trigger points and I work be familiar with all of them.
Seeking these funny bones is nothing new to me. I was always a prankster and jokester growing up and always looking to make myself and others laugh. I think it was my way of getting attention as a youngster and how I felt I could better "fit in". And I desperately wanted to fit in and be popular.
I was always a small kid for my age, picking up none-too-flattering nicknames that always, unfortunately, seemed to stick. "Pee-Wee", "Shrimp", and "Scooter" all jump to mind. I had also somehow skipped Kindergarten, which not only apparently made me a genius in all my classmates' eyes, but also meant I was a year younger than most of my grade. Small for my age and a year younger... could anything else be worse? Oh, I also looked different than the majority of white, conservative, Rochester Minnesotans, as my Dad was Palestinian and mom was a Philippine. All this added up to a scrawny, weird-looking, brainiac kid with strange-speaking parents. And I just wanted to be popular. Thank God for recess as my speed and sheer dominant athleticism on the playground eventually earned me a fair amount of adulation by the end of my 6th grade year!
Right or wrong, I distinctly remember the first time I associated laughter with popularity. I was the new kid on the block at Bamber Valley Elementary School in 1977 as my parents had just moved to the south west part of the city. In the middle of that third grade year, I fell in love with the black-eyed beauty, Muffy Corteese. She was so mint! I remember desperately wanting a perfume-infused Valentine's Day Card from her in my heart-decorated shoe-box made in art class, and I needed to find a way for her to notice how cute and charming I was.
Then came that fateful day in early February. Mrs. Luther had left us alone for a few minutes (like she usually did) at snack time so that she could grab a few quick puffs of a cigarette in the teacher's lounge. I remember not wanting to call her over for help on any subject, ever, as I would be surely bathed in putrid coffee-smoke breath as she leaned in, close, to give instruction or advise. She was a close-talker as well which didn't help matters. I don't think many in our third grade class learned much that year as none of us wanted to be anywhere close to Dragon Breath. No one would ever ask for any help from the teacher as we all much preferred to have no clue what we were talking about rather than risk fatal contamination.
Back to the story... my arch nemesis for Mint Muffy's attention was Colin "The Peacock" Piepgrass, a too-good-looking-for-his-own-skin-normal-height-stupid-cause-he-didn't-skip-kindergarten Caucasian with confidence to boot. That day, Colin was regaling some tale about how he had been King of the Hill for three days straight at recess. Mint Muffy was gazing into his eyes like a lost puppy, hanging on his every word. I had to do something!
So, in a complete moment of brilliance, as well as in a last ditch effort to try and secure a perfumed Valentine's Day card, I grabbed my half drunk pint of chocolate milk snack drink, stood up, and yelled at the top of my lungs, "I think I'm done with my milk!"
I think I'm done with my milk?!?!?!? Where in the world did that come from?
Everyone turned to look at me, and I then proceeded to tip the 1/2 full milk carton over my head as if to prove the truth of my statement. The classroom was speechless for two heartbeats as the chocolate milk ran down my face and back, then the room erupted into uncontrolled laughter. I remember Mint Muffy, after recovering from being doubled over in laughter, finally seeing me for the man I was. It was my greatest moment! The Peacock was not laughing much though as I think he realized then and there that there was a new king in town.
From that day on, I was constantly looking to make people laugh. By high school I had acquired the more studdly nicknames of "Puck" (after the troublesome sprite in A Midsummer's Night's Dream from Mr. Robinson's AP English Class) and "Loki" (Norse God of trickery and mischief). A God! Nice! I was also deeply honored to be voted Mayo High School's Class Clown of 1988 my senior year.
I learned early on that if I'm having fun the girls are usually doing the same. I also am constantly aware of bored or distracted looks at training. I try to make all my training sessions active, competitive, and challenging for the girls, and use jokes and funny comments to keep girls interested or to bring girls back from spaceland. I change my tone, have different character voices that I use - Girly Voice, Flaming Homosexual Voice (though I don't call it that in front of the girls!), and others - that when used sparingly are sure to bring smiles when needed.
If anyone ever reads this site, this is the one thing that I would hope people walk away with. The players must enjoy the game!